Ever since my ironman, which was over a year ago now, I’ve been chasing the runner I was. I see those PR’s I have posted back from 2011 and 2012 and think…oof.
After almost every race since then I’ve lamented how I used to be so much faster. And I keep going after races with those times in the back of mind.
I’m training hard and working on building back that confidence and ignorant bliss of just enjoying the run. I’ve done more strength training this year than I have in the last five. I’m focused on having a great swim at the Tampa Bay Frogman 5K. And I look back at past months to see what I can do better this month.
I’m doing a lot to build myself up as an athlete physically. However, what I’m not doing, that I could and should be doing, is celebrating and embracing the runner that I am right now.
“I’m so good at being positive for other people but I tend to struggle being positive for myself.” Runladylike’s Jesica said this the other day and I one hundred percent understood what she meant. I do it too.
I love encouraging others and helping others but I find it difficult to celebrate my own achievements sometimes. And I am so very hard on myself. Even small achievements like getting in a solid workout after work or making healthier food choices aren’t given any credit. I don’t give myself props for nearly enough of the things that I do well.
During recent training runs I have been seeing glimmers of my former running self and it’s great, but instead of being happy, I tend to dwell on the times I “used” to be able to run. The whole thing is really a waste of energy and is helping exactly no one.
The runner that I am right now, right this very moment is no slouch. Sure I’m not setting blazing new PR’s, but I’m still working hard and doing my best. And it’s all relative, fast to me, may be slow as hell to you. And vice versa.
I know that if I were talking to a friend in the same boat, I would tell her – You. Are. Awesome. You’re working at it and it’s OK. It’s a fantastic lifestyle that you focus on and want to be better at but you can only do your very best and that is more than enough.
The runner I am right now is pretty kick ass and I am happy to celebrate me. I invite you to do the same. Celebrate the runner you are right now and look forward to celebrating the runner you will be tomorrow.
Great post! As I'm about to start running after baby I'll need to keep this same perspective. We can't always compare ourselves to our best times – we just have to focus on celebrating who we are now. Thanks for the reminder!
I also remind myself when I'm disappointed in a race performance that literally no one but me cares. I know people root for me to BQ but at the end of the day, no one will like me more or less if I do. Puts things in Perspective!
Good advice! I'm discouraged because I'm slowing down no matter what I do. But I should be glad that I'm able to do what I do. And I'm really not all that bad compared to other runners the same age. I will try to focus on the benefits of running and be thankful that I am able to run at all.
Rick Stiles
They say something about comparison being the thief of joy….but it doesn't always mean with other people. Getting caught up in comparing to past years and versions of ourselves is just as damaging at times. Life changes, we change, things change and just because you're different now than you were doesn't mean you are worse now- you work your ass off and it shows. Be proud!
So glad to hear from you again Beth! Looks like thinks are still going well with you and your life/running. When are you coming over here?
The runner you are right now and always IS kick ass. I'll be by your side to remind you of that whenever you forget, and I'll join you as you continue to build back to where you want to be. Half of this fight is just mental. Keep believing in yourself and you will start to see everything click. So grateful for you! xoxo
Well said, my kick ass runner friend! I was thinking about this today as I am about 15-20 minutes off my marathon time of two years ago. It bothers me more than it should (and makes no sense because I am running more now than I was then…) ugh. Anyhow. I am embracing that I am trying some new things and trusting the process. You can embrace that you are awesome 🙂
I needed this! You have no idea how much!
Oh man. My running comes in waves and I've certainly been on the downside of it as of late. The Turkey Trot was a great feeling and I'm hoping I'll get back to it again. GREAT POST!!! And as always, rock.