Today is Festivus, the holiday to air your grievances and perform feats of strength! It’s basically the opposite Christmas and always a good time due to the wrestling the head of the household (a Festivus tradition, natch).
Thus today I’d like to air some grievances to the general public:
1. Please stop taking photos of yourself in your bathroom to post on various social media websites. It’s creepy.
2. And quit making a duck face in those self portraits.
3. Runners please say hi to each other!
4. Cyclists, it’s cool, I know you won’t say hi cause you don’t want to fall. (I feel ya.) But can I get a head nod at least?
5. For the love of Festivus people, if you are in the 10 items or less aisle PLEASE have only 10 items or less.
6. Hey you in the far right lane tailgating, move it to the left speedy!
7. Servers and bartenders are people too, treat them with a little more respect. They handle the food and drinks you are about to consume, just a warning.
8. Dogs of the world – could you try picking up your own poop for once?!?!
9. Cats of the world – yeah, you don’t care what I say. Carry on.
10. Stop yelling on your cellphones. This new age technology ensures the person on the other end can hear you at a regular speaking decibel.
FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!
Go forth and air those grievances for tomorrow and Tuesday it’s all about love.