Since I am the over thinkingest thinker to ever think I decided to do a little research and delve into what it is exactly I’m so afraid of. As I google searched, I found that this phobia is called “cyclophobia.” And no, I’m not joking here. It’s a real thing and I think I have it. Sort of. Ugh. Let me explain.
Sunday, I had a planned ride with Strawberry E. I had talked about it and thought about it all day. I really need to ride. I need to get a ride in. I should really ride my bike. I haven’t ridden all week. If I ever want to get better on the bike, I had better get my butt in the saddle. These were the thoughts that pervaded my brain all damn day.
I hadn’t ridden since last Saturday’s race and was dreading it with every hour that passed. I even called Strawberry E to back out at the last minute but alas, she didn’t answer her phone. I had no choice but to show up and ride with her. We planned to meet where the BRA runners would be starting and stopping and I kept thinking about them being there. I saw myself toppling over and the feeling of embarrassment washed over me.
We got going on our ride and once we got started I felt OK but still had the creeping thoughts of falling. I kept going over and over in my mind how to get off the bike when we decided to end our ride in front of all of those runners (some of whom were also cyclists). I went back and forth on how long of a ride to do and finally decided to cut it short due to the heat. And partly because I just wanted to end the mental anguish and get the stopping over with.
Our ride ended just about the time that the runners got back. Strawberry E pulled into the parking lot and stopped with ease. I, on the other hand, had to focus so much and was so afraid of falling that my legs were shaking. When I finally unclipped my right foot and set it down my left leg was shaking so badly that I almost pulled msyelf down trying to unclip that foot. I tried to play it off and hoped that no one had noticed.
This is what happens to me almost every time I ride. It takes a huge amount of mental effort for me to get out to ride and it’s only lessened when I know I’m riding alone. But even then, it’s an inner struggle the entire ride. I’m preoccupied by thought about cars forcing me to stop or animals scurrying in front of me that I can barely enjoy myself. I have found that the more often I ride the easier it gets but once I take too many consecutive days off – wham! I’m back in anxiety land.
I have completed five triathlons and a couple of rides over 30 miles. Surely a person with cyclophobia couldn’t have done this stuff right? Wrong. Remember the one I almost didn’t finish? Yeah, that was because of the bike. Mostly, I get through the bike portion of the tri by just gutting it out. I think about the bike more than I think about the run and the swim put together. When I looked up the fear of bikes I found that most of it stems from either childhood falls or plain old fear of cars and traffic and injury and so on.
Yes, I had an accident as a kid where I ran into a moving car. No, I was not hurt, but I was very shaken up and embarrassed. In addition, I feel very uncoordinated every time I stop. And of course, the first time I got on with the clipless pedals I fell right over. In front of a group of very seasoned riders. And again, I was very embarrassed. Anyone who knows me, knows that I HATE being embarrassed. Not to say I embarrass easily, cause lord knows I’m too much of a goofball for that. But it would seem the my fear stems more from fear of embarrassment then it does of being afraid of getting hurt, although that’s thrown in as well.
A smart man told me he thinks my bike issues are all in my head. I have argued with him that it’s an ability thing, that my legs just aren’t strong enough, that I’m built differently…but now that I look at this psycho-babbling post, I’m starting to think he’s right. And after reading this post there does seem only one solution right?
Ride the bike. And ride it often. And stop thinking about who sees me fall. Who cares? I do. A little. Ok, fine. I’ll work on that too. Paging Dr. Freud!
Honestly, I wrote this for myself because I needed to get it out. I’ve been feeling like it’s a dirty secret and I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m being a baby or being silly. I know it sounds odd but I really do have anxiety before I get on the bike and I can only hope that by putting this out there someone will stumble upon it and not feel ashamed that they get sweaty palms and the poopy cramps before they get on the bike too. Hey, us crazy people gotta stick together.
I think you may be onto something with the it's more about a fear of embarrassment thought. You seem to be capable of riding well, from this post it looks like you are afraid of unclipping and getting off successfully. have you tried loosening up the clips so it is easier to unclip? any bike shop can do it for you, if you are not riding any big hills you don't really need them too tight anyway. good luck
thanks $Bill! i don't think they are too tight on my right foot cause i always unclip that one. the left foot probably is b/c i never unclip that one until the end of the ride. i may need more clipping practice in general. i guess that's something the trainer can help with.
If you replace the biking for the swimming, then you have ME! We avoid what we are not comfortable with and what doesn't seem natural to us. The bike and run are very natural for me, not the swim. However, as you witnessed on Friday, my description of being an awful swimmer isn't exactly accurate but it is in my head and I believe it more than I should. To get better and more comfy with anything, you have to make yourself do it even when you don't want to …until it starts to feel natural. And the biking will if you don't shy away from it. I am game for taking you out on the bike. I'm willing to bet 1 or 2 rides with me and you will be much more comfortable. I would put big money on that statement!
Everyone falls, but only the BAMFs get back on and finish!
Thank you ladies! KC I will take you up on that fo' shizzle. Maybe Sunday? I think a group is doing San An but I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
Casey – thank u! I will attempt to be more of a BAMF – you are BAMF numero uno.
I feel the same way when I get on the dance floor.
First of all you are not alone! Every season I have to get over this phobia and it just takes getting out there. For a while I had a phobia of the turn around in a race b/c I had fallen THREE times in races oh and once I was so tired at the end of a duathlon I completely forgot to clip out and just fell over, the ppl that tried to help me didn't realize I was still attached to the bike and twisted my knee as they tried to remove the bike from under me!!!
So practice, practice, practice… Now before a race I pic a quiet road and practice unclipping, sharp turn arounds, and dismounts over and over and over!
You can do it!!!!
I think that anyone that feels unsure in a particular area feels this same sense of phobia towards it, whether it's the bike, swim, or maybe even the run. I hope the rest of the comments on this post help you realize you're not alone and give you advice on how to combat the crazies. I for one am entirely intimidated by clips but otherwise feel right at home on the bike. My leg will eventually heal so not having the clips is only going to last for so long before I'll have to man up and get some.
Is the anxiety about embarrassment or getting hurt? If your childhood car situation seems like a long shot, are there other life experiences to consider?
And out of curiosity, what's the deal with the clips? I don't even own a bike, so I'm worse than an FNG with the question, I just really don't get it.
Thanks CA! I will practice, practice, practice. I am also nervous on the sharp turns. I stopped to get off at a water station cause I knew I'd kill myself trying to grab a water at my last race.
Morgan, you'll def need the clips as you progress. They are a neccessary evil.
Joanna, it's a combo of the two. I think just being uncoordinated really doesn't help. LOL! The clips give you a lot more power and help you pull up instead of just regular pedals that you only push. Make sense?
I'm glad you wrote this post. I'm pretty sure I have this too. I avoid my bike at all costs. I want to do a triathlon at some point in my life so I really need to get over this. My Mom reminded me that I took a header over my handle bars when I was younger and haven't really been on a bike much since then. I think my fear of falling will increase my chances of doing just that. I need to relax and trust that I can do it. Overcoming this problem is on my list of things to accomplish, though I have to admit I've put it on 'to do next spring'. Perhaps I'm just putting it off. Again, thanks for writing this post, I'm glad to see that I'm not alone and the fact that you've done triathlons motivates and inspires me! Remember, doing what we fear is awesome.
fear is real, even if you think it's stupid. and at least you aren't hiding in the basement, you're trying. that makes you a pretty cool kid.
Keep this in mind — even very experienced cyclists fall sometimes. No cyclist is ever laughing at you. They've all been there so it's a shared embarrassment. Take comfort that we laugh WITH you. I've put in 5000+ miles this year and a totally random clipless fall was part of that. Just pick yourself up and keep going!
Oh, and any non-cycling runner/motorist that would laugh is too gutless to even try cycling themselves. Ignore them.
LMAO! Okay I got that out of the way. See, I was laughing WITH you…….. HA, okay that time slipped. I think it all started when you first got on your Big Wheel……….
Ken, I knew I could count on you. To laugh at – er- with me. π
I could have not said this better myself. This is EXACTLY how I feel on the bike. And it's really hard to force myself to get out there and practice when it's the last thing I want to do. Since I have no tris coming up I've pretty much put my bike away for the near future.
Some other people have suggested it, but I would also recommend loosening the clip on the foot that you take out first. I didn't think mine was all that tight, but making it looser made a HUGE mental difference for me. I can now get my foot out without really having to think about it. Sure, I'm probably losing some power but my foot doesn't come out when I pull up so I don't care. It's worth having less stress about it!
thanks Allison! i'm sorry you feel this way too. it stinks but hopefully we can both get better from forcing ourselves to ride more.
and thanks for the tip on the clips!
I don't have any advice. I used to hate riding my bike, but only because it was so *difficult*. I'm stronger now, and I find myself enjoying the bike, but I don't think that's your issue.
Maybe you need to fall over a few times. Not, like, break your arm, but suffer a few unclipping failures where you can laugh at yourself, dust yourself off, and realize that it's not so bad.
you realize we all have that right? PERFECTLY normal, not a mental disorder. Use it for motivation and then you can conquer anything. It is definitely in your head but it is easy to beat it. You just gotta keep that ass in the seat. ya dig?
This is such a timely post for me!!! For some reason I get so nervous riding a bike as well but a friend from a bike shop called me about a Tri bike he wanted me to test out and see if I liked. I was nervous ALL DAY to get on that thing… and when I did – freaking fell on the test ride. What lameO does that?? THIS GIRL! haha. anyways, you are not alone. I guess with time that fear has to lessen more and more. (That is what I keep telling myself anyways:))
Well you know I SUCK bad. If I don't get my hill riding phobia fixed I'll never succeed in this sport. This plays with my head terribly. You have overcome so much and are such an awesome athlete.. You are a rockin rider!!!!!!
Everyone falls, but only the BAMFs get back on and finish!
be naughty
Beth – as you know I fell many more times than you did when I first started doing this Tri/Riding (with clips) thing just 4 years ago!
How abou this – every time you run – how about you do a 4 mile ride? Doesn't need to be fast – just a short reverse brick!
You hit nerve with me. That is exactly how I have been feeling about getting back on the bike since I crashed mine 2 years ago. Unfortunately, it is all in my head and the fact that I'm an absolute klutz. I have anxiety just thinking about getting back on my bike. I had hoped I would get over my fear and get back on it for the tri sprints this fall, but I just can't do it. Oh well. I'm just runner and that's o.k. No shame in that.
I'm terrified of riding my bike too, but I don't even have clips! I got a cheap mountain bike for cross training, and I have yet to ride it on the road off the bike trainer. I'm afraid I'll fall over because I haven't ridden since I was 12. Hopefully soon I'll make it past the end of the driveway…
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