Hello humans. It’s about time I got on the world wide web. I’ve been trying to hijack this computer all week but Mom’s been all over it. She’s got that weird walk thing going on again and she’s been sleeping with bags of cold stuff. In my bed, no less. I hates it. I’m trying to be all snuggly and comfortable in the spot I have so perfectly selected when all of the sudden I am freezing. Silly humans.
As The Attack Terrier Lloyd in charge, I’d like to take this time to place my demands to you, the blog readers. I will be holding this computer hostage until they are met. Or until Mom finds out I have hijacked it. Again.
I know Mom likes a list, and because this is a list of my demands, then I guess I do too. Shall we humans? Ok, here we go.
1. Trees in the house. Please send 20 trees to Mom’s address so that she can put them inside and I can have multiple restrooms. Honestly, the chair leg is getting old.
2. I want 10 of you to come over and rub my belly. Until I say stop. And then start again.
3. Five fat, slow squirrels. I would like the squirrels stationed outside that allow me to catch them. I don’t care how you get ’em fat and slow. Just do it. (Hm. That’s a pretty catchy phrase. Wonder if I could use it in the human world. Just do it. Gotta a nice ring to it.)
4. More toys. I’ll take 25 loofa dogs, a squeaky newspaper, and of course, some kongs. Oh, and fill the kongs with peanut butter please. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s hilarious to watch the dog with peanut butter. Well, little secret here humans, we only make those faces to get you to give us more peanut butter.)
5. A rare steak.
That is all for now. Should you not meet my demands promptly I’ll be forced to continue writing blog posts. No more running updates for you, humans!
Now where are my belly rubbers?
-The Attack Terrier and Blog Taker, Lloyd