Happy Friday! Today I thought I’d let you all in on what goes on in my brain. And yes, it’s a wee bit scary. Oh, hell. Who I am kidding? It’s mad scary. But hopefully, I can open your eyes and minds to the wonderful randomness that occurs in my head. Every. Single. Day.

I got some compression socks, finally. I went to sleep in them and woke up thinking there were boa constrictors on my legs. Heh. We don’t even have boa constrictors in Florida. Shows how much I know.

I am a fan of Amy’s Enchiladas, but I am not a fan of her sad ploy to make me buy more. Let me get this straight Amy, you say the serving size is one enchiladas and yet here they are (two) wrapped together and must be heated together. Now I tell you, who the hell is going to heat up two cheesy, delicious enchiladas and only eat one? I’ll play your game this time Amy…but you haven’t won this war!

During this training cycle I have remembered how much running makes you sore. And perpetually sore. I don’t understand how elites do it. Not that I am comparing myself to an elite mind you, but they must have some secret they aren’t letting us in on. You hear that Kara Goucher? I want answers.

Florida running blows because it’s hot and it also sucks due to ridiculous amounts of love bugs and gnats. Love bugs basically just land on you all while “doing it.” And gnats are so freakin’ gross cause they stick to you and then when you dry off they fly away. It’s all fun and games until you find a gnat in your sports bra.

Marathon training makes you hungry all the time. I think my co-workers are hiding food from me and warily cover their lunches when I walk by, lest I jump at it. You gonna eat that ham and cheese Phil? Don’t you run from me with that donut Kathy!

I was on the track team in junior high. And I have a photo. From 1994. Again I repeat, WHEN DID I GET SO OLD? Do you see me?

True story: I thought the Cher song “Turn Back Time” was saying, “Words are like werewolves, they woooo sometimes.” I totally just ruined that song for some of you. And you are welcome! Don’t get me started on my rendition of “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves.”I am a straight genius. Right before I go to sleep. Seriously. I have solved world hunger and the national debt a thousand times over. But I am too tired to get up and write it down and I repeat it in my head over and over so that I’ll remember the next day. And then I wake up and poof…it’s back to food stamps and recession.I don’t care how in love you are with your spouse, significant other, or family member, popping someone else’s pimples is just wrong. Stop it right now. I’m thinking of making bumper stickers that say “Crazy cat ladies have more fun.” Two words: Gold Mine.This concludes Random Thoughts Volume I. I bet you wish you had those 3 minutes of your life back…..Have a great weekend friends! I’ve got 18 on deck and a couple of enchiladas with my name on them.