But then as I re-read it, I thought to myself. “What the eff are you complaining about? Shut the hell up.” And my inner monologue was right. It was so right that it even rolled it’s damn eyes at me.
What the hell am I complaining about?
Ok, fine, so MCM shook me up. It wasn’t the best race I’ve ever had and I must stop punishing myself because of it. I said I was fine with the time and ok with having to stop and walk, but my actions and questions of late have said otherwise. I’ve been punishing myself and doubting my abilities.
When I look back at where I was as a runner in 2009, the death march that was the Disney Marathon, makes me feel a little silly complaining about MCM. Sure it wasn’t a PR but it was still a very respectable time AND I finished my 4th marathon. That counts for something right, inner monologue?
I think what is happening right now is that I feel so much more confident in my speed then I do my long runs and that’s only because I had a great Turkey Trot. In addition, my speed work has been improving.
In my head I feel that I should be faster for the long runs than I am right now. But this is just preposterous. The B.o.B. from 2009 should hop in a time machine and come kick me in the baby maker. I’m being ridiculous.
I am so hard on myself and I need to realize that my pace right now is EXACTLY where my pace should be. No more, no less. Had God wanted me to be an Olympic runner he or she would have put me in Kenya.
The reason I am posting this at all is because I know there are so many of you who feel the same way. Stop it. It’s silly. We run to get better, to be better. But if it’s constant questioning of our skill, then it’s just not fun anymore. And dammit, I want to have fun!
I am taking a vow of “Shut the Hell Up.” Whenever I start to say (which to my friends and family I apologize for being such a pain in the ass about this lately) “maybe I’m not a marathoner” please look at me and say, “B.o.B., shut the hell up.”
And peeps, I want all of you to also, shut the hell up.
B.o.B., shut the hell up
Thanks Coach Ken! You shut the hell up.
Love it! This is just what i needed after struggling through a stupid 10K this morning in the rain. Thanks for the kick in the A$$.
Well I just can't "shut the hell up" for more than a week, can I? I have listened, the past few weeks, and especially last night, to people complain about their injuries or somebody else's injuries due to running. "Stop over doing it" is what I say. B.o.b. you are right where you should be….for a 5k that is. 😉
I am a relatively new follower but you are 100% correct in your assessment.
We are always going to be tougher on ourselves than anybody else. What we need to do is accept the results and figure out how to get better. It may not be at speed, it could be at eating better which will lead to better results.
Analyze your race, figure out what you did do well, what you cn improve upon and create a plan for that next race.
My dear runner girl you know I can relate! You've grown and gotten faster in leaps and bounds. Like my husband tells me just look back and see how far you've come!! ((hugs))
You're right. We just need to shut the hell up and do what we need to do. Great advice! 🙂
Okay. I just took the STHU commitment….
I love this because it is so true. I do the same thing. So shut up! 🙂
That's it I should've kicked you when I had the chance during Ragnar!!!! WHY OH WHY didn't you realize this sooner?!??! WHO has been telling you all along that you're awesome and amazing and speedy and for god sakes you are a marathoner?!?!? Oh yeah that's right me and all your friends/family. Go put your bracelet on right now and whack yourself in the head with it. 🙂 Love you!
Thanks, I needed this right now 😉
YOU ARE AN AMAZING RUNNER, and if it was easy and predictable, everyone would do it. But they don't, 'cuz it's hard, and stressful – but you're in the marathoner club lady, and you earned it! 2011 will have big stuff in store for you, this I am sure of.
And again, thanks – I needed this more than you could have ever imagined.
K, I am going to STHU too. But don't be so hard on yourself for using this forum to vent. Your raw honesty is admirable.
NIce to meet you. I am glad I stumbled on to your blog.
I know the feeling.
And yes….4 marathons definitely counts for something!
Funny thing about running what you're comfortable with is that it doesn't seem to be the challenge that we're looking for. If you were rocking the marathon, you'd be looking at an ultra or an ironman. There just don't seem to be limits to where we're happy or content. And it's good. It's what drives us to be better. So while you are smokin the 5k's and such, you'll know that it will make the marathon that much more comfortable. And I like your conclusion. I'll remember that!
I completely agree!
Thanks for finding my blog! Your words couldn't be truer!! I often have that inner monologue with myself too…It's so easy to slip into that thought process. Ok, I'll shut up now. 🙂